~Alice~

I haven’t been able to post until now since…well…I was taking a break with my family. I discovered a new passion. ROLLER COASTERS!!!! The way you feel everything goes up when going down and how you feel everything going down when you go up, is just amazing! It was the first time I had try getting on to those things, but I loved it!

Well…ermm…back to the writing… I’ve been writing a short story inspired by Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland! So, here’s a part of it:

The water caressed my skin as I sank deeper into the tub. Such lukewarm feeling welled up inside me while drowsiness closed my eyelids. How nice. Every single worry faded, every thought lacked importance, every sound was nonexistent and a bitter taste wandered in my mouth. I found peace—a heaven to drown in.

Every day had been flat and incoherent. It was only when asleep that I could feel at ease. That’s why that night I went to my parents’ room, as usual, and told them ‘goodnight’, even if they hadn’t heard me, as they were in deep slumber. Soon after that I headed to the empty soundless kitchen and grabbed something to eat—an apple to be exact—slicing it into pieces with the clean, sharp knife mom would always use to cut meat. At last I went to the room-sized bathroom and got the bathtub ready to welcome me. I undressed without looking at the wide mirror in front of me. My feet doubted my every move since my body felt extremely tired, but, as soon as I got myself inside the hot water, I felt as if my body was made out of rock. Calm as a baby in its mother’s arms, I rested and let myself be driven to an eerie tranquility.

A soft sensation and warmth were the first two things I noticed as I opened my eyes. Then the place I was in. A room with red furred curtains and tall windows behind them, the wall was bone-white with red pattern and the floor had the same texture the curtains did. I shut my eyes abruptly when a sudden headache reached me. The pain left a couple of seconds later, though. Fortunately, it woke me up completely and made me acknowledge the fact that I was in some place I didn’t know of. Everything was red, black and white. The sheets on the comfortable bed I was on, the walls, the sealing, the doors, even the portraits hanging on the wall had the same colors.

I got out of the bed I was resting in still not sure what I was supposed to do. Scream? Call for help? Panic? Stay calm and explore? Or do nothing? It was awkward…I didn’t know how to react, but, even though I was at some strange room and did not know how I got there, I wasn’t scared. Not one bit. I was just empty. My mind was blank. It didn’t take long until I came to a conclusion. I was hungry. Yeah, my stomach roared. Literally, it did. I glanced down to it and patted it with both hands noticing the red dress I was wearing. It looked more like a sleeping gown to me, but it had a label with the word “dress” written on it.

By A.G. Hawkeye

~Doubt~

A little girl cried that she had lost her precious treasure in the sea.

She searched the sea for two hundred years.

The girl cried that it might be in the mountains rather than in the sea.

She searched the mountains for three hundred years.

The girl cried that it might be in the forest rather than the mountains.

She searched the forest for four hundred years.

How long will it take until she doubts whether it really has been lost?

By A.G. Hawkeye

~Pandora~

It takes time, I told myself. Yet, I wondered how long it would take to be free. I couldn’t even understand the meaning of “freedom”, but I wanted to get away from the cage I had been in since the day I was born.

White walls, a white ceiling, a white door, a white floor and white clothes—everything in that damned place had the same dull color. Food did too. There was a time when I thought colors didn’t exist. My hands were covered in colorless gloves and there was nothing inside ‘the house’ that could be used as a mirror. Meaning, I didn’t know how I looked like. No one came in or out ‘the house’—the food came out from a small window and so did the water. The lights were on most of the time, and, if they were turned off, they would only be off for a couple of hours.

I knew nothing of the outside world, but had the feeling that I shouldn’t be familiar with it. Something was just wrong with what was outside the door. In other words, I was afraid, but curious.

One day, the door opened.

I expected to see a ‘someone’, but no one came in. The sound of the door, as it made a delicate impact when it touched the wall, scared me. It was a soft, yet empty sound. I waited, but heard nothing. It was then, when I felt a sudden impulse to get out of ‘the house’.  My heart thumped and my breathing got louder.

Anxiety.

My feet moved slowly. My eyes glanced at what was behind the opened door. Unlike ‘home’, that place was dark. But like ‘home’, that place was also silent. I didn’t care, though. Something told me to go out, to run, to escape, to face…what?

I entered ‘the outside’ as the darkness of it sheltered me.  I heard something like footsteps. Yeah, something was getting closer to me, and its pace was getting faster.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap!

I couldn’t see what it was, but the feeling of it, as it touched me, burned me. Was it really burning? It was more like as when I had bit my tongue and some color I had never seen came out of my mouth. A sharp contact with a burning result, while a wet sensation, followed. My body lost its strength and crashed with the floor. I screamed as a reflex not really knowing what was going on—my eyes closed too.

The light inside ‘the house’ faded when I opened my eyes. My hands moved uncontrollably, as if it was freezing cold, my voice broke when I tried to speak. I hated the bothersome light, but I yearned for it. Why? Why was I feeling so…helpless?

Three seconds passed—I counted them—and everything was so bright, it hurt my sight. Then, I saw it.

A huge, pale being stood before me stained with the same color that had gotten out of my mouth. Its eyes looked at me as saliva poured down its mouth. Its hands were just like mine, but four times their size. Barefoot, with flesh falling out from it, it took one step towards me. I had been so entranced by the deformed and disgusting figure in front of me, that I hadn’t notice that the room I was in was full of mirrors. So, when I turned beside me and saw the so called ‘reflection’ I had been waiting for, my eyes widened.

Like that creature, I had eyes, a pair of hands, a pair of feet, a face, a torso, legs, arms, but my size was considerably small and some sort of liquid was coming out of my shoulder and chest.  I tried to move, but the sharp-hot feeling came back if I did. My eyes searched for something. I didn’t understand what I was doing, however I let myself be guided by that instinct.

My surroundings were all tainted with the same color that creature and I were, and body parts similar to mine were everywhere. Where the hell was I? Who the hell was I? What in the world was I doing at such place? I wish I wouldn’t know the answer for that. I wish I could just be the same ignorant, half-dead being confined in a white box as I was once then.

By A.G. Hawkeye

~*Heaven*~&~¨Hell¨~

I watched as her azure eyes opened reaching me. Her hand searched for mine as my lips caressed her forehead. Her angelic smile left me breathless. I thought about embracing her, but didn’t. Such naïve and pure creature shouldn’t be touched by someone like me. I had just kissed her as an impulse created by knowing she hadn’t left my side, but it wasn’t happening again.

 

I felt as if being with her was like being in heaven, but, deep inside, it was a burning hell.

Corpse

Inside the plentiful night,

I’m fading.

A corpse dances a waltz.

The moonlight showing her smile as she cries in lament.

She approaches while holding roses.

Looking down with disheveled hair,

She grabs my hand.

Tearing up lies.

Though we danced until dawn,

A cold grip is all I need to wake up from this nightmare.

A.G. Hawkeye

~Stray~Part I

People say the reason of why they kill is simple.

They say that they have the right to do so since, “its war”.

They grab their guns and pull the trigger.

It happens too fast.

A life is taken.

Forgotten,

Just as we are.

Weapons serving someone we haven’t even seen.

Immersed in actions,

Letting time go,

We let go of what used to be our humanity.

By A.G. Hawkeye

~Prologue~

Yeah, I haven’t been posting in quite a while, maybe that’s why I haven’t been getting much visits recently. But I have a reason. I’ve been writing or rather I’ve been planning my novel in a sort of ‘good’ way and I’ve already begun my first chapter.

I wanted to know what you guys think about it.

Here’s the prologue:

“The steps got closer, while my fears became reality. I knew I was trying to get out of what seemed to be a nightmare, but my vision was getting blurrier and her fingers were turning cold. It was as if I was lying to myself. Telling her over and over again that everything was going to be alright convincing her, but, who really wanted to believe in such shallow words, was me.

Even with all the darkness entangling us, I was able to see the light in the key I was holding tightly. As desperation came over and her hand left mine, my heart stopped and a loud ‘thud’ was heard.

I called her name time and time again receiving a soundless response. Something within me told me to hide the key in my pocket as I knew and felt someone breathing heavily behind me. I couldn’t see that person’s smile, but felt it. A desire so strong that could tear me apart, moreover, a desire to tear me was getting closer to me as the action that would let to my end was a couple of seconds away.

Pain.

Such a dull, yet sharp pain as the metal blade entered me and a moment of thought which seemed to be my sanctuary as I made contact with the rough, worn-out floor.

Eight months ago everything would’ve been as it had always been. I would’ve been in that house without seeingknowing anything; I would’ve been living a pleasant life, even if mother wouldn’t be there, my brother would’ve cheered me up. I loved that kind of life. A life that was so far away. anything, without

As my consciousness faded and a warm dream welcomed me, I thought of nothing. It was the end anyway. An end that had been written a long time ago.

Of course, I hadn’t thought about how every dream has an end, and how waking up would be most painful and unforgettable beginning of everything. It was the first move of an endless game.”

By A.G. Hawkeye.

My grammar and spelling might not be perfect, so be nice.

Thanks for those who’ve been reading my writing and all !!!

~Beyond~

I take the picture of mama, papa and me.

Hiding myself in the closet,

Papa and mama don’t notice it.

Please, someone,

Stop the clock.

Take me beyond this nightmare—I don’t want to stay here anymore.

Even if it’s Dreamland,

Tell me the end of this before the night is over.

Don’t look at me.

I can’t stop the tears.

Milk or a sweet ‘goodnight’,

I don’t need them anymore.

Beyond this place is always the same.

I’m awake now.

Misery gone.

My clothes won’t be dirty anymore.

Even if the truth is clouded,

Let the clock move once again.

I have no way, but look up.

The picture of us?

I burned it.

By A.G. Hawkeye

Yeah, I know I hadn’t been able to write, but inspiration came out of nowhere.

~You~

Born in expectation,

Our future was taken away.

Driven to a unknown place,

I’m left alone.

I’m the despised one,

You are the loved one.

I’m left alone while you are surrounded by dear ones.

I’m not remembered.

Why am I the only one who has to endure?

We have the same blood running away.

You are my reflection,

So why must I hate you?

I try to keep going forward,

But I’m troubled by you.

Returning to a prohibited place,

A gun in hand,

To get away from my shadow.

A cold feeling running through the reflection.

With it, the end of the nightmare,

The beginning of a dreadful waking.

By A.G Hawkeye

**Goodnight**

You are dreaming peacefully.

Rain falls inside me as I watch you in your sleep.

My chest hurts,

My words won’t come out.

The moments I spent with you are so dear.

I hold your hand,

Even if you won’t notice,

I kiss you softly.

I know I have to let go.

The smiling you,

The crybaby you,

The loving you,

I must say in this last night,

“Goodnight”

“Sweet Dreams”

You are the miracle that was given to me,

My dearest,

But I need to let the farewell come out from my lips to set you free.

Keep smiling,

Keep living,

Even if my eyes won’t open anymore,

Be happy.

By A.G. Hawkeye