So things have gotten better with my boyfriend (we talked and fought, them talked again and patched things up), yet his mommy said something not so sweet about me. The comment wasn’t really direct, but indirect, still…it made me uncomfortable. I haven’t said anything bad or anything that could’ve ruined the pseudo-relationship I had with his mom. With mothers-in-law, however, there’s no need to DO anything, they just stab you in the back and start saying stuff ’cause they don’t like you. Never give them anything to talk about.
I don’t hate her, and I try, desperately, to stop this feeling of anger/resentment, since it’s not good for my emotional health. I have to keep my eyes open, though, with whomever I encounter. I’m not being paranoid, just playing it safe.

Ps. I miss my laptop.



I talked to him again, after four days of silence. We don’t have anything to say to one another as we’re feeling uncomfortable.

Distance II

We aren’t fighting anymore, but yesterday’s fight didn’t turn out well.



How long has it been since we last kissed? It hasn’t been that long, I know. Feeling, however, take over me and I feel the need to embrace you. I want to be close to you And feel safe in your arms. I fell in love with you, unfortunately. Fortunately, I met you. Though, the sadness in all this reverie rests in how I cannot meet you. Again, I cry, trapped in this darkness. Where are you, love? Where are you, my knight? We are young and in love. My words hurt you like knives as I don’t know how to convey my feelings. Let this words that have been written out reach you, as you are the one who can pull me out of this picture. I want to once again…feel you.



Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. To make it clear, we have a long-distance relationship and have seen each other three times in the year and a half we’ve been dating. Truth to be told, I’m getting desperate and way too anxious because we’re in different continents. He’s in Europe while I’m in America.
We fought because, well…there isn’t really a reason. It’s just that I’ve been mad at him the whole day. The thoughts crossing my mind are thoughts of him not missing me as much as I do. It’s been quite long since we’ve kissed or held hands. I barely see him when we talk using Skype. His laptop’s camera is a piece of crap, and every time we talk I see him for about five minutes, then nothing. Our responsibilities makes it hard to have time and talk. And when we do have time, well…we watch funny videos on YouTube or watch a movie or something. It’s becoming a routine.
As a woman, I like the cute and sweet words he used to call me or the nice comments about my figure or the forever-in-love poems he used to tell me. Now, when we talk he tells me that he loves me, but nothing more. I made a mistake when I read the messages he used to send me. For heaven’s sake, he used to cry whether said he missed me and how he wanted to marry me.
Relationships are hard, not only romantic ones but every single other one, too. We have to deal with people, be careful not to hurt their feelings or something. I understand, still…there are times when I wish I could tell him how I feel and what I need without him getting irritated because he thinks I don’t appreciate what he has done.
I really had to write this down, since I needed to let it out.

Liberté de l’être humain par Jovan Montano (pas A.G. Hawkeye)

Liberté de l’être humain.

Dans le CORAN dit que Dieu nous a donné le option de choisir nous même notre façon d’être et le chemin qu’on doit suivre, mais depuis qu’on est petits et même avant, les gens commence a choisir notre avenir.

Quand on est dans le ventre de notre mère, nous parents commence a choisir pour nous notre avenir, cette idéalisation commence le long chemin d’esclavagisme. Quand on né, les règles commence. Façon mangé, marché,créances religieux.

A l’étape de l’adolescence on rentre nous même dans une étape d’acceptation pour renter dans un groupe social. On est emprisonnés par la société, quel qu’un qui veut étudier médecin est mieux vu que quel qu’un que veut étudier la musique.

Quand on arrive à l’étape adulte, la société prend le Control total, travaille, dettes, maison, etc. Et si quelqu’un ne suive pas cet chemin il ne forme pas partie d’elle.

L’être humain soupçonne d’être libre et lutte pour ça mais il ne s-ce rendre pas conte qu’il est emprisonné par son propre système.


Je revois les photos,
que je connais par coeur…
j’écoute encore les mots
laissés au répondeur…

–Ce lien, C.C.

L comes from love and lust

To think you were part of me, 

To think you were who made up my heart. 

Tell me you love me, 

Tell me you want me, 

Just let me drown in your love. 

Take me into your arms, 

Hold me tight, 

Make me yours.

Take me now,

Let me be the one for you,

Let me be the star in the sky that guides you. 

Love me, 

Make me, 

Hold me, 

Take me. 

Please, come back, 

Please, look now, 

I’m here, 

I’ve always been…

So kiss me, 

Let me forget all of our past regrets, 

And kill me silently. 

Drown me deep inside you. 


Es como una bestia,
Sus garras y dientes arrancan desde las profundidades su calma.
El idioma que aquel monstruo habla entiende el lenguaje del lado más oscuro de su alma.
Sus palabras parecen dulces,
Pero arrullan mentiras.
Y es la rima de sus canciones,
Que la llenan de envidia.

El poder la atormenta,
Y con cada roce,
La ahuyentan.
Se aleja de las estrellas y del sol que la alimenta.
No quiere ver.
No quiere ceder,
Y no entiende por qué ese frío dolor la quema.
Quema lo que está dentro de ella.
Y son sus lágrimas llenas de tristeza lo que al fin la despiertan,
La regresan al vació,
Pues en él ya no encuentra asilo.

Por un momento olvidó su propósito,
Olvidó que en él no había más que ocio.
Pobre ingenua,
Pues se había dejado llevar por su gentileza.
Y fue solamente así que sintió el real valor de su franqueza.
La máscara está de nuevo puesta,
Y en su rostro no existe la duda.
Su llama ya no está expuesta.
No habrá nadie que la extinga.

Es una lástima,
Porque sus lágrimas fluyeron como ríos de olvido.
Ella misma lleva la cruz de lo que alguna vez llamó su rayo de luz.
En las profundidades de su propio orgullo duerme,
Esperando que algún día llegue quien la despierte.
Y vuelva a verlo si tiene suerte.


The lights and the loud music echoed made her body tremble. Or had the drinks been the cause of her dizziness? She had one of his hands on her waist, while the other playfully drew circles on her cheeks. A part of her wanted to go to bed, but another one knew she had to enjoy the night. It was going to be the last before she’d acquired all the responsibilities she was meant to. The ceremony was close, though not as close as those guy’s lips were to her neck.
She felt a wave of electricity pass through her body, when he planted a kiss on her collarbone. She wanted more. She desired the man in front of her, she wanted to drink and dance until there was no tomorrow, she craved to do whatever she wanted—she dreamed of freedom. Much more than what she already had. She wanted no consequences, just plain pleasure and fun.
“I want to stay like this forever,” she thought, before letting herself drown in that man’s touch.
From the other side of the room, a figure watched her cautiously.

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