So things have gotten better with my boyfriend (we talked and fought, them talked again and patched things up), yet his mommy said something not so sweet about me. The comment wasn’t really direct, but indirect, still…it made me uncomfortable. I haven’t said anything bad or anything that could’ve ruined the pseudo-relationship I had with his mom. With mothers-in-law, however, there’s no need to DO anything, they just stab you in the back and start saying stuff ’cause they don’t like you. Never give them anything to talk about.
I don’t hate her, and I try, desperately, to stop this feeling of anger/resentment, since it’s not good for my emotional health. I have to keep my eyes open, though, with whomever I encounter. I’m not being paranoid, just playing it safe.

Ps. I miss my laptop.



I talked to him again, after four days of silence. We don’t have anything to say to one another as we’re feeling uncomfortable.

Distance II

We aren’t fighting anymore, but yesterday’s fight didn’t turn out well.


Words like knives

I am sad.


Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. To make it clear, we have a long-distance relationship and have seen each other three times in the year and a half we’ve been dating. Truth to be told, I’m getting desperate and way too anxious because we’re in different continents. He’s in Europe while I’m in America.
We fought because, well…there isn’t really a reason. It’s just that I’ve been mad at him the whole day. The thoughts crossing my mind are thoughts of him not missing me as much as I do. It’s been quite long since we’ve kissed or held hands. I barely see him when we talk using Skype. His laptop’s camera is a piece of crap, and every time we talk I see him for about five minutes, then nothing. Our responsibilities makes it hard to have time and talk. And when we do have time, well…we watch funny videos on YouTube or watch a movie or something. It’s becoming a routine.
As a woman, I like the cute and sweet words he used to call me or the nice comments about my figure or the forever-in-love poems he used to tell me. Now, when we talk he tells me that he loves me, but nothing more. I made a mistake when I read the messages he used to send me. For heaven’s sake, he used to cry whether said he missed me and how he wanted to marry me.
Relationships are hard, not only romantic ones but every single other one, too. We have to deal with people, be careful not to hurt their feelings or something. I understand, still…there are times when I wish I could tell him how I feel and what I need without him getting irritated because he thinks I don’t appreciate what he has done.
I really had to write this down, since I needed to let it out.


I wait for you.
Time stops and leaves sports tainted by loneliness.
It hurts to look back,
You’re not whom I fell in love with.
The way you talk to me,
The words that come out of your lips,
They are not the same.
We’ve been turning pages,
But what about our sentiments?
I miss you,
But I wish you would too.
Where’s the man who made me laugh?
Where’s the man who made my heart beat?
Where are the phrases that made me live?
I call,
But you don’t answer.
Where are you, my lost lover?